hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
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