We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
