Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
