everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
