singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
