his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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