we're blogging at a bar
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
