At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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