We're facebook friends in real life
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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