they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
