K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
