Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
