HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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