is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars