but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.