some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
