Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I had to cum in my sink.
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