We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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