I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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