hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize