Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
