Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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