Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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