You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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