Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
