I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
