People in love make me want to vomit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize