bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
