Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
