either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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