i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do vagina's smell?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
