I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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