You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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