He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
