You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
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its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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