I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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