dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
