Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize