but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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