I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
