I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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