Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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