We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just had sex bonerless
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
