Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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