I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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