Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize