I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize