my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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