quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
