I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
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I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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