she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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