i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
