I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
