How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Randomize
