It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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