did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
