I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
