How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
