Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
