there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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