just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
