it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
