he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
