remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
